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Gaze In Shock And Dismay At The Beauty Pageantry Of The Beverly Hills, 90210 Visual Aids

We've collected all the most important imagery of 'Everything's Coming Up Roses'!

Listen along with the "Everything's Coming Up Roses" podcast, while wearing your most beautiful tiara.

Dylan spent a third of a season pretending to write a screenplay and this is the best Luke Perry can do pretending to type? Hey idiot, the FBI isn't actually taking receipt of this fake letter: just strike a bunch of keys like you know what you're doing.

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Previously.TV

How could Toni Marchette possibly deny the appeal of an ass this skinny under a shirt this capacious?

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Super-sleuth Dylan apparently doesn't notice Toni's tail sitting approximately two feet behind her in the Reservoir Dogs suit. SO BAD AT THIS.

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Previously.TV

But not even Bruno can fail to be touched by young love.

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Previously.TV

Was kissing Toni just practice for getting to kiss Brandon? Why else stand so weirdly close?!

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Sleeping on the top edge of that hard-ass futon is really going to hurt Dylan in the morning. At his age he should be more mindful of his back!

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Donna demonstrates the perfect pageant wave...

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Previously.TV

...including the perfect mindless, cross-eyed gaze.

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Welcome back to CU, Leslie Sumner! Just because you're an adult now doesn't mean you're required to go around with this mumsy hair.

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Free tip: when you're trying to simulate the office of a record label, hire a couple of extras so it doesn't look like it's in the process of going out of business.

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Fox

That's a "cassette tape." Ask your great-grandparents.

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From the computer in the kitchen to the leisure tank top to the pasta poster you're going to be confronted with for years: a lot has gone wrong here.

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Fox

Giving your chin wobble a C-, Brandon.

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Previously.TV

From the makers of Dramatic Chipmunk, it's Dramatic Sheila!

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Previously.TV

Let's call this configuration of Val's hair "The Wimple."

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And let's call this a LOT of boob for daytime.

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Giving Donna a rare compliment on her lewk: this '60s-throwback style is perfect for the occasion.

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But: Val isn't wrong to make this face at talk of Donna and Kelly's Barbies making it to the Royal Court. Barf.

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Fox

Another rare compliment for Donna: good move covering the cavern for the Royal Court interview.

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It's a bad hair contest, and everyone's losing.

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Note to men: all "creative black tie" looks just as dumb as this joke does.

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Not quite as bad as the Season 4 boot brush. But almost.

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Lose the tiny little pendant when you're wearing a halter dress, Susan.

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And don't make that face when we critique you! You know you messed up!

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Fox

Exclusive pic of Emma Caulfield being asked whether she'd ever date a real-life Brandon.

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Just two people having a great time on a date is what this is.

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Remember what we said above about "creative black tie"? This band collar. And of COURSE Colin would pick it.

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You kind of lose your moral authority telling someone "You are such a bitch" when your face is this hateful.

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Val? Same.

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Kelly's attitude is so stank that even her frosty eye shadow is trying to escape her head.

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Oh, SUSAN. Do not look this pathetically grateful when Brandon gives you an extremely banal compliment, PLEASE.

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Was Donna late because Ray had to smoke an entire pot plant first?

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Sometimes the cavern's covered. But it's never, ever gone.

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When cybering as your Care Bears alter ego goes very wrong, yet very right.

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Previously.TV

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