Screens: FOX

Could You BE Any More Hammy?

Fashion, dyslexia, and patricide meet in the visual aids for Beverly Hills, 90210 S01.E19, 'April Is The Cruelest Month.'

Listen along with our coverage of "April Is The Cruelest Month" right here!

Maybe Donna really is stupid; she's mistaken a tampon wrapper for a blazer.

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The twins get the exact same SAT score! HILARIOUS! ...Not really, who cares!

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Kelly researches male/female student-body ratios. Sarah would like to pretend she didn't take that into consideration, but Sarah had 12 years of single-sex schooling as an excuse.

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The trademark not-as-cute-as-she-thinks Kel Krinkle.

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"Explain where this character beat came from. Use examples." "Uhhhh."

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"Cut! Cut, cut. Tori, hon, it needs to be WAY MORE OBVIOUS. Pretend there's no sound."

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Sanders 2016.

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Your boyfriend is the tent at a sideshow wedding, your bestie is wearing an entire Amish town as a jacket, and you have a doily from Norma Desmond's parlor on, but sure, let's freak out about how Donna's smoking.

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Poor Mrs. Teasley, always having to act warm and supportive towards these little shits.

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Weird crop, MASSIVE shoulderpads even by this show's standards, and some kind of melting Magrittean lapel. Buntsy can state with 85% certainty that this miscarriage came from Benetton.

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Well, that lipstick isn't great for day, but let's give ourselves a break, shall we?

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Donna gets extra time on tests for her plotdevicitis. Problem solved! ...Not Brenda's headband, though.

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Speaking of problems, Roger Azarian has a bunch: he's intense! He's unable to modulate his acting! This is the most bearable shirt he's going to get all episode!

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Presented without comment.

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Just one of many interminable "I AM THINKING"/"I AM SNEAKING ABOUT" sequences in this episode, which in some parallel reality is still going on.

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Drink for the Twin Peaks reference, though we don't know what exactly makes her Twin Peaks-y. She was...in the water?

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Brandon and his gel have concerns.

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...NOIR concerns!

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Speaking of concerns: no, Grampy.

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Everything about this is terrible: the shirt, the Sam-The-Eagle acting choices...

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No wonder Brandon's so bummed out about Roger's screenplay; it's taking him the whole weekend to read it. Maybe Donna's not the only one with plotdevicitis.

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GOT IT, Lionel Barrybore. Jesus.

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Uh oh. Day drinking.

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Please welcome Perry's old grill!

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You know when's a great idea to bray at someone? When he's drunk and pointing a gun at himself.

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(Roger can give as good as he gets in the bray department, however, as we saw earlier when he blared at Brandon about...something weird.)

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Whoever wrote this scene has never even seen a movie with a gun in it. Why is he holding it like that? It's not a shotgun, ladies.

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"I ate an entire bag of jacks."

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Couldn't have shot Brandon while you had the chance, chief?

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I mean...give the boy some direction. ANY direction.

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"...And we never see him again."

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