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Beverly Hills, 90210 Tries To Make Dylan Make Up His Mind

But the thought of picking up on one and leaving the other behind sends him into fantasies of his future...and apparently also give him gas?

Listen along with the "Midlife...Now What?" podcast to see which pained expressions belong to which romantic "crisis"!

In case you were wondering whether Brandon's learned how to work gum yet? He has not.

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What...is this collar?

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What.......is this mock turtleneck/PROPELLER HAT BROOCH COMBO?!

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I'm not sure Dr. Benjamin Cramer would have so many readers of his self-help tome if they could see him horning out over his CPA's assistant.

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Dottie's sexual overtures feel to Jim like a wonderful fantasy! Because it is, duh.

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Dylan's spending all his agonizing time at the Peach Pit because it's the only place no one's going to bust him for farting up a booth, apparently.

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But there's no happy farting for him if he chooses Brenda, marries her, and gets her pregnant a million times!

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And no haircuts for Brenda after childbirth, evidently.

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But life married to Kelly isn't fun either -- not when you have to keep cutting up your maxed-out credit cards the wrong way.

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Kelly's going to be a lot tackier in her twenties.

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Dylan, no, don't fart up your Craftsman cottage!

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Good thing Andrea's going to the spa; let's hope they offer intense moisturizing treatments there!

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Hey, cool, Jackie's old friend Babette works at the spa! Now they'll definitely get first-class treatment!

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You can tell Kelly's REALLY excited to see her again.

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Oh, Cindy. No good ever came from reading books.

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Add this to the list of things Andrea is a dork at: cardio.

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It's the girls of the gang, sitting in someone else's filth.

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We are all this masseuse needing to drown out a co-worker -- with the latest hot jams from Janet Jackson, probably.

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Ew, we should have warned you there was going to be a shot of Kelly inspecting her many and various "problem areas." (Shut up, Gina the bigmouthed masseuse.)

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You know who DGAF about Gina's body-shaming? Andrea. She might also be high on endorphins.

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Oh good, Rex got invited to the away game. And he brought his extra-fluffy mic cover!

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At the end of the day, does Jackie even need Mel when she's got her best girl?

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