Do you like my new lamp hat? Photo: Jordin Althaus / Oxygen

Nasty Boys

A shock-art challenge leads Darnell and Willy to a strategic gamble. Crackerjack, or Memento?


The previouslies make it look like Lara was crying last week after not getting eliminated -- and we pick back up with her immediately starting in all "you got something to say, say it." Willy's like, fine, your shit is weak, and when Darnell chimes in to say her tat doesn't read -- true -- she's all salty about supporting him and not getting support in return, which she just said she didn't need. I'm sorry, girl: are you that one reality-show competitor who's here to make friends? Because 1) nope! and 2) if that's the case, what's with the hard-assery?

tl;dr -- shut up.

Flash Challenge

Joe Capobianco meets the final five in Pershing Square…but then he's called away by a producer, leaving the Inkers to cool their heels while L.A.'s "finest" Coney-Island-style performance artists torture them and us for what seems like three weeks. The only fun part is when Capo comes back to show the artists where Best Ink hid the cameras, but still: if you can't find enough for the Inkers to do when it's down to just a few, give them bigger or harder tats in the main Challenge.

Anyway: the Inkers have to take the most disturbing moment from the shock-art bits they just saw, and incorporate it into a drawing. …That's it, I know! Every problem with the show in one segment.

Judge Matthew Bone uses the word "impactful" on the way to naming Karly and Alayna the top two. Lara sucks an indie sourball. Karly wins.

We are now 17 minutes into the episode. Do better, show.

Ink Challenge

"I'm so used to not winning Flash Challenges, I don't even care anymore," Lara passive-aggressives, before another aria on how she doesn't care what anyone thinks. Doesn't that pose hurt her back?

Not as much as Pete Wentz's weird Masonic lion sweatshirt hurts my eyes. Peter, you are a handsome young man. Please stop shopping at…wherever you're shopping and take your tiny ass to Ben Sherman for some black gingham. I will wait.

So, the Ink Challenge is shock-art tats: challenging the norms of blah blah outrageous-cakes. Capo reiterates that he'll need to see something "completely disturbing."


Karly's skin wants a roller coaster, and she doesn't think she can do it at the proper scale. Lara's works outside in the sun a lot, so her "thing," color, might not hold up on his epidermis. Alayna's "girly, happy" style might not translate to the evil psychic her skin is looking for; she's also concerned that she's the least experienced artist left.

Lara was right to worry: when she starts color-washing, she realizes her skin's skin is toughened up from sun and it's not going to take too well.

Capo's like, really with the taking forever on the outline, Karly? Karly's like, tell it to my skin, he wanted the collected Tolstoy up in this bitch.

Capo's still not shocked by Alayna's, although her skin is into it, and mentions that keeping it black and grey loses some drama.

Biggest Gap Between Challenge Brief And Tattoo Art

Karly's is a little cartoonish, particularly the color story, and not all that shocking.

Tattoo I Would Consider Copying

Your fourth-grade sticker collection was more hardcore than my tats, so this isn't my catchment area, but Willy's is kind of like the Meadowlands section of the Jersey Turnpike in that it's so harsh and nasty, it achieves a beauty. He killed it on the texture, too.

Client Who's Saving For Laser

Karly's is sort of Highlights, as mentioned, but the color is cheap-looking and the space elements are half-assy. It's not really her fault; she tried -- but she failed.


Capo's visits to the Inkers before they start are gentler than usual, and he's smart to tell Willy that texture will make his tat, and to help Alayna with a style that's not her regular thing by nudging her towards something gorier instead of shoving.

He also has a good point about the neck angle on Darnell's, noting that it's hard to tell where the neck actually is. When Lara finally shuts the hell up, Capo's like, it's a good drawing, you just needed to saturate it more, and Sabina tells her she's being too hard on herself.

Hannah has helpful comments about Willy's shading pulling out certain elements, and that Alayna's might not age well with the "overwhelming use of black."

Darnell and Willy finish in the top. Willy wins, and the two of them scheme to send Lara home by putting her in the bottom with Karly, whose tattoo is better. Ugh. I hope this backfires on them, if only because Lara did nail the challenge brief despite some inking problems not of her own making, while Alayna's lovely tattoo was off-topic -- and I like Karly, but her work this week is flat ugly.

The judges talk about Karly missing opportunities, and Lara's muddiness, while implying that maybe there's going to be an ink-off instead of a straight boot; in the lounge, Karly's not happy that she might go home because Willy and Darnell misread the situation.

Capo asks Karly and Lara to justify their continued presences; Karly points to her many victories, and Lara chooses to whine about feeling unappreciated in the competition, and now I do want her to go home so she can marinate in her self-pity.

And that's what happens, after Capo expresses his respect for her and how hard it is to go out on a good piece. She's ungracious about that too, and overall I haven't loved her work so BYE.

The other three cheer as Karly returns.

Quote Du Jour

"Laserbeams? What is this guy, 14"? -- Capo

Crackerjack Or Memento?

Flimsy Crackerjack first half, Memento second half.

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