Billy Leatherwood: Behind The Bitchy Side-Eyes
Sure, we all loved Behind The Candelabra. What was not to love? It had great performances by both leads and so many memorable side characters: Dan Aykroyd’s wig, Rob Lowe’s wig, Scott Bakula’s mustache, Rob Lowe’s face, Scott Bakula’s butt, Rob Lowe’s teeth...the list goes on. But above them all was Cheyenne Jackson’s portrayal of Billy Leatherwood, even though he only had one line: “Like anyone would give a shit.” Or did he? Didn’t he maybe have LOTS of lines, if only we listened more closely to what his face was saying? The answer is of course yes.
“Get a load of me. I’m behind the candelabra. Literally!”
“Yes, thank you. I too believe this wonderful ride will last forever. Why wouldn’t it?”
“Thank you for acknowledging the REAL talent on this stage.”
“Oh, is someone in this room talking to me? I must be mistaken, because as far as I know, I’m EATING ALONE.”
“I don’t care that I’m not included in your stupid conversation, because I’m eating an AMAZING meal.”
“Obviously, I was being sarcastic. Isn’t that right, glass-of-gin-disguised-as-water?"
“Go on. Go ahead and keep talking to each other as if I’m not even in the room. Eating. Bitchily. Just ignore me.”
“Oh right. You can’t hear me. Because this whole conversation is in my head.”
“Ha! Can you ignore THIS? Billy Leatherwood in a tiny towel? You can? Well…that’s depressing.”
“At least you still love me, plate of food in the green room. You’ll never leave me.”
“Mmmmm. We’ll be together forever.”
“Hmm? What's that?”
“[sigh] Well, at least I got to keep my leather jacket. And that sweet ass ring Lee gave me.”