Philip Michaels

Philip Michaels has been writing about television for years, first at and later at Television Without Pity. After a lengthy tenure as an editor for both Macworld and TechHive, he is embarking on an exciting new career of freelancing and mendicancy. Follow on him on Twitter to hear him complain about how the sports teams he likes aren't playing very well.

No One Wants Robert Herjavec's Money

Oh, he can land himself a spot on Dancing With the Stars. But can Robert Herjavec convince any Shark Tank supplicants that his money is just as green as anyone else's? Not tonight he can't. And it is strangely glorious. 2015.03.07S06.E21

Oscar, Meet Emmy

Some lucky movie is going home with a Best Picture Oscar Sunday, but that's just Step One in the inevitable march to EGOT greatness. Here's how each would-be Osar winner can make the move to the boob tube. 2015.02.20

There's Gold In Them Thar Hills

A guy tries to get a deal for his gold-panning kit, making us think we've stumbled upon a Shark Tank rerun from 1849. Then a lady shows up with a sports bra to remind us that it is most definitely 2015. 2015.02.14S06.E19

Triumphs Of A Man Called Zonk

Hey, if some Shark wants to hand over $50,000, Philip Michaels is perfectly willing to get saddled with a stupid nickname handed down by Kevin O'Leary, too. 2015.02.07S06.E18

Looking Out For Number One

Oh, look, a man in a dog suit on Shark Tank. How adorable. He's...wait, what is he doing on that patch of grass? Somebody stop him. I need an adult. I NEED AN ADULT. 2015.02.04S06.E17

99 Problems And A Box Ain't One

At last, the solution to the pizza-box dilemma that keeps approximately nobody awake at night has been found by Shark Tank, along with other products and services that are equally useless. 2015.01.31S06.E16

Bright Lights, Big Bidding

Another batch of entrepreneurs are hoping that the Sharks see the light, but it turns out some ideas are brighter than others. 2015.01.17S06.E15

That's The Way The Cookie Crumbles

Everyone who appears on Shark Tank tonight gets told how terrible their business is. And yet, three of the four companies walk away with money. How does that work? 2015.01.14S06.E14

Lox, Stocks, And Two Smoking Bagels

Bagels figure prominently in at least two of the pitches in this latest episode. Which is appropriate, since everyone who comes before the Sharks is something of a zero. 2015.01.10S06.E13

Oy Vey

It's beginning to look a lot like a non-denominational holiday in the Tank, as the Sharks consider backing a Hanukkah-themed appropriation of Elf on the Shelf, an overly elaborate way to hang Christmas lights, a crazy person's holiday decorations, and a product that has nothing to do with any holiday whatsoever. 2014.12.13S06.E12

Red, Red Whine

Tonight on Shark Tank, the Sharks hear four perfectly reasonable pitches about four entirely sensible products from a series of reasonably well-adjusted entrepreneurs. Goddammit. 2014.12.06S06.E11

Not-So-Candid Camera

The guy who made a fortune off of GoPro joins the Sharks as a guest investor and just will not shut up about his little camera business. Which, given the quality of this week's pitches, is probably just as well. 2014.11.22S06.E10

Looking Out For Number Two

It may be the 100th episode of Shark Tank, but with a parade of products highlighted by a stool that lets you squat over toilets, tonight's episode feels like a lot of the usual crap. 2014.11.14S06.E09

Wok This Way

Aerosmith's Steven Tyler stops by Hell's Kitchen. Will there be sweet-and-sour emotion? Will Janie have a gumbo? Will Philip Michaels run out of Aerosmith-related puns in this intro? Yes. 2014.11.13S13.E09

Semper Fi-nance Me

For Veterans Day, the Sharks support the troops. But some troops are better supported than others. 2014.11.07S06.E08

The Song Remains So Lame

A supercharged karaoke machine is just one of many pitches that sounds off-key to the Sharks...and that's music to our hateful ears. 2014.11.01S06.E07

Jimmy Kimmel Wastes Everyone's Time

America's second-best late-night talk show host named Jimmy shows up to do a comedy bit. But some of the actual pitches on tonight's episode will make you laugh until you cry. 2014.10.25S06.E06


The future's so bright for one of the companies on this Shark Tank episode, it has to wear shades. Stupid, bleak future. 2014.10.18S06.E05

Roman Hell-iday

Gordon Ramsay asks his would-be chefs to pull an Italian job, but the end result is a meal you probably should refuse. 2014.10.16S13.E07

Let Them Eat Fake Cake

From prop cakes to wipes that disguise odors, this episode of Shark Tank has you covered when society inevitably crumbles. 2014.10.11

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