Jeff Drake

Jeff Drake has written things you might have seen on TV. Remember that ad campaign for Joey? Or that time Tina Fey made a joke in an SNL promo about having an alien baby? Nope? Ah well, those are things Jeff wrote. He’s also written for McSweeneys.net and currently contributes to the Wits radio show.

Top Chef Goes To Mexico

In Guadalajara, the final three become four, drink a ton of tequila, then become three again. 2017.02.17S14.E12

The Bachelor Vs. The Platinum V (Finally)

It's the moment we've been waiting for: Corinne and her 'sex charm' against Nick and his stupid face. 2017.02.14S21.E07

On Top Chef, Four's A Crowd

But, you know, somebody's coming back, so who knows how many chefs are really left? 2017.02.10S14.E09

The Bachelor Is Terrible At Playing Games

He has a bad time with volleyball, and seems totally uninterested in a game called 'Chokey.' 2017.02.07S21.E06

Top Chef Presents Hats Entertainment

A shrimp battle and a brunch battle whittle the field from six to four. 2017.02.03S14.E09

This Episode Of The Bachelor Does NOT Include Any Embarrassing Dancing

Actually it does. Also, some nonsense about a haunted house. And a lady fight in a swamp. 2017.01.31S21.E05

Top Chef Goes Blind

After a blind taste test, the chefs cook their favorite memories for charity. 2017.01.27S14.E09

The Bachelor Goes Home Early

Nick takes the 15 remaining ladies to Waukesha. Sadly, that is NOT a euphemism. 2017.01.24S21.E04

Top Chef Puts The 'War' Back In 'Restaurant Wars'

Come for the food, stay for the epic battle of a-hole chefs! 2017.01.20S14.E08

Bachelor's Back, All Right!

Some ladies dance with the Backstreet Boys, some do track and field, and one very special lady vomits in a bag. 2017.01.17S21.E03

Meet The Young Pope, Not The Same As The Old Pope

Buckle up, Catholics! There's a new Pope in town! 2017.01.13S01.E01

Top Chef Puts The 'Arrrr' In 'Charleston'

A pirate party produces slimy scallops, and one chef's exit is written in the stars! 2017.01.13S14.E07

The Bachelor Gets Married!

Seems like maybe Nick cut to the chase and married half the women. Oh, if only that were true! 2017.01.10S21.E02

Can The Top Chef Chefs Cook Better Than Edna?

The chefs pay tribute to revered Southern chef Edna Lewis, and get a blessing from the Surgeon General. 2017.01.06S14.E06

Did The Bachelor Just Jump The Shark?

The new season begins with 29 well-dressed ladies, and one who never takes off her shark costume. 2017.01.03S21.E01

Top Chef Pigs Out

A barbecue challenge produces a herniated disc, funky beans, and Hootie? 2016.12.30S14.E04

Top Chef Gets Trashy

You've heard of the seven deadly sins? Meet the seven deadly trash fish. Can the chefs find Jim-dandy ways to serve up the garbage of the sea? 2016.12.23S14.E04

Mise En Down The Road With Top Chef

Who wouldn't want to eat fourteen variations on radishes? 2016.12.16S14.E03

Top Chef Gets Down To Biscuits

The chefs get a crash course in Lowcountry and Gullah cooking. 2016.12.09S14.E02

Top Chef Puts Charleston In Charge

It's veterans versus newbies as the show kicks off a new season in South Carolina. 2016.12.01S14.E01