Jeff Drake

Jeff Drake has written things you might have seen on TV. Remember that ad campaign for Joey? Or that time Tina Fey made a joke in an SNL promo about having an alien baby? Nope? Ah well, those are things Jeff wrote. He’s also written for McSweeneys.net and currently contributes to the Wits radio show.

Whine & Roses: The Bachelorette Doesn’t Want A ‘Disingenuine’ Man!

Rachel puts the men through their underwhelming paces, and many bad attempts spelling and freestyle rapping ensue! 2017.06.20S13.E04

Whine & Roses: The Bachelorette Strips The Men Of Their Non-Existent Dignity!

Rachel continues her arduous journey to find love with stripping, mud wrestling, and, mercifully, no whaboom-ing! 2017.06.06S13.E03

Whine & Roses: The Bachelorette Must Choose Between Love & Basketball

Rachel Lindsay literally gets dunked on…but returns the favor with authority. 2017.05.30S13.E02

Whine & Roses: Whaboom Goes The Dynamite on The Bachelorette!

Rachel Lindsay submits herself to Bachelorettehood, with mixed (but mostly absurdly bad) results! 2017.05.23S13.E01

The Bachelor Puts The Season On Ice

And by that, we mean...hooray, he finally chose a (potential) wife! 2017.03.14S21.E11

The Bachelor Leaves A Lady In Lapland

But which one? I'm sure none of us has ANY idea. And then the Women Tell All. 2017.03.07S21.E10

Top Chef Chooses Its Champion

On the finale of the show's best season yet, Shirley and Brooke go head-to-head one last time. 2017.03.03S14.E14

The Bachelor And The Bachelorette: The Sequel

Before Nick decides on his final three, Andi Dorfman visits for no good reason at all. 2017.02.28S21.E09

This Top Chef Episode Is All Mayan

The final three cook a Maya-inspired dish, using only Maya-appropriate cooking tools. 2017.02.24S14.E13

The Bachelor Breaks Out The Cheese Guns

The hometown dates fill Nick's calendar with fun activities like mudding, shopping, and church! 2017.02.21S21.E08

Top Chef Goes To Mexico

In Guadalajara, the final three become four, drink a ton of tequila, then become three again. 2017.02.17S14.E12

The Bachelor Vs. The Platinum V (Finally)

It's the moment we've been waiting for: Corinne and her 'sex charm' against Nick and his stupid face. 2017.02.14S21.E07

On Top Chef, Four's A Crowd

But, you know, somebody's coming back, so who knows how many chefs are really left? 2017.02.10S14.E11

The Bachelor Is Terrible At Playing Games

He has a bad time with volleyball, and seems totally uninterested in a game called 'Chokey.' 2017.02.07S21.E06

Top Chef Presents Hats Entertainment

A shrimp battle and a brunch battle whittle the field from six to four. 2017.02.03S14.E10

This Episode Of The Bachelor Does NOT Include Any Embarrassing Dancing

Actually it does. Also, some nonsense about a haunted house. And a lady fight in a swamp. 2017.01.31S21.E05

Top Chef Goes Blind

After a blind taste test, the chefs cook their favorite memories for charity. 2017.01.27S14.E09

The Bachelor Goes Home Early

Nick takes the 15 remaining ladies to Waukesha. Sadly, that is NOT a euphemism. 2017.01.24S21.E04

Top Chef Puts The 'War' Back In 'Restaurant Wars'

Come for the food, stay for the epic battle of a-hole chefs! 2017.01.20S14.E08

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