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Idol Voters Choose Cute Boy Over Talented Girl; Film At 11

America's Dalton thirst is a pitchy mess of embarrassment.

Time to put a sock in it, kids, American Idol is nearly done! The final finale lineup has been announced, and the good news is that Kelly Clarkson will be back to move us all to tears. The bad news is that the finale will still feature this motley crew along with some others, including (probably) Dalton and (definitely) Danny Gokey. Luckily, we still have two weeks to mentally prepare. In the meantime, here's how the Top 4 fall on the Spectrum:

Ryan Watch

8

Seacrest is finally back in a suit, and this time it doesn't even look like it's his own collection! The blue color palette suits him well, and the pairing of the lighter blue tie with the navy suit is a trendy, yet classic combination. It's a little bit Mad Men, a little bit Macy's, a little bit "my stylist picked this out to disguise the fact that I just rolled out of bed with severe stubble." It's not too shabby, but there's still room for improvement.

Talent Pool

4

The same stuff I said last week still applies, but at least some of the kids have taken it to heart. To wit: Trent reigns in his faces (or at least applies them with more precision) and La'Porsha performs with such a sexy, sassy confidence that it's clear she knows she's eons better than the rest of the bunch. MacKENZIE's still boring, Dalton's still bad, and poor Sonika doesn't even get a chance to sing goodbye. It's hilarious that the celebrity guests this week are Katherine McPhee and Sia; the two represent the extremes of the career paths ahead, though most will probably see Katherine later too, on the road most traveled.

Crushworthy

7

It's a little late in the game to be throwing aces, yet that's exactly what Trent does with this performance of "Sharp Dressed Man." He leans into his swampiness, growling and thrusting his way across the stage in such an off-beat, yet appealing way that it makes his otherwise disturbing faces suddenly make sense. It's not something I'd usually enjoy, but it completely works.

The Harry Connick Jr. Variety Hour

8

Harry: Am I sexy when I say that, fungal?
Keith: Sexy like an artichoke.

…that's all folks. Careful where you put those vegetables.

Goodbye, My Friend

2

It absolutely sucks that Sonika is sent home, that she wasn't allowed to sing a farewell, and that, as of this writing, her farewell highlight montage isn't posted to the official American Idol YouTube. Her voice is incredible, and even though it wasn't enough to keep her in the competition, it will definitely knock down some doors in the future.

Bad Choices

8

Seriously, America? You sent Sonika home, but kept this pitchy mess? And to think: this is Dalton's backup, use-in-case-of-emergency song. Can you even imagine how bad his first choice must have been? Why the judges choose to validate this I'll never know, but don't been fooled by Harry's forced flattering. This is terrible, and even if Dalton does make eye contact while delivering his notes, they're still off-key, off-pitch, and utterly awful. He does fare better with his Sia song, "Bird Set Free," but that's because he turns the song into more of a performance art piece. Also, those lyrics are literally about singing off-key. So while it is brave to lean into his personal struggles with being bi-polar, that still doesn't justify how far he's gone in this competition.

Surprising High Notes

8

La'Porsha didn't need to bring back Missy Elliot's garbage bag-chic jumpsuit, but she does, and it's awesome. Who knew heavy-duty plastic could flow so well and look so comfy?

Unanswered Mysteries Of A Shallow Kind

6

What does Sia's face look like?! Was David Cook always so bland? When is Harry's namesake suit collection coming out? And how great is La'Porsha's new hair? (So great.)

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