American Idol's Prelude To Goodbye
America finally gets a vote right, as the final Top Two are announced at last.
Can you believe it?! We're a stone's throw away from our long national nightmare (Scott Borchetta) finally being over, and there hasn't even been a Simon Cowell cameo. Can you imagine the shade Simon would throw at the Borch's leather coats? I can, and I'm upset we haven't (yet?) been treated to such a delight. For the second to last time, here's how Idol falls on the Spectrum:
Seriously, Seacrest? It's part one of the final Finale, you have a tux on, yet you can't be bothered to throw on a tie?
It's like you expected no one to watch American Idol: American Dream Tuesday night, so you didn't feel the need to overcompensate for your exceedingly unfortunate Season 1 hair. Well, guess what, buddy? The North remembers; see above.
You're going to need to be overcompensating for those spiky highlights for the rest of your life. I won't even go into the audacity of running one of your Ryan Seacrest Distinction ads -- one that highlights the importance of wearing a tie -- during a commercial break. But you better come correct for Thursday night. Or better yet, step aside and send in Dunkleman. That would make headlines, but just make sure Harry dresses him first. The whole navy-and-black combo Connick's been going for has really been working for him.
We're down to La'Porsha, Trent, and Dalton, and if we're being honest, two of those three actually do make for an exciting match-up (remember when we were all excited about Ruben vs. Clay? Why did we think they were that great?). I'm not totally sold on any of their original songs though; the best, Trent's "Falling" sounds like a well-done rip-off of Alicia Keys (his Trent-face sort of kills the desperate-romantic vibe), and the band plays over so much of La'Porsha and Dalton's vocals that it's hard to even hear/judge their lyrics properly. I'm sure they'll sell well on iTunes, but it's difficult to see how any of them are as perfectly cheesy as "A Moment Like This."
Good My Friend
It's probably mean to be excited about this, but at the same time: America finally gets a vote right! Dalton's nice and all, but vocally speaking, he really has no business in the Top 10, let alone the Top 3. He seems to take the news well too, which is touching, but also a bit expected. It will be interesting to see if the Borch signs him, because he's definitely the Big Machine type, but it won't be the worst thing in the world if his name fades away into the annals of Idol lore.
Surprising High Notes
Trent's repeat of "Chandelier" is absolutely beautiful, and the way he transitions between his chest, head, and falsetto voices is vocally flawless. His decision to perform the song as a ballad is smart, and there's something in the way he moves his hand in syncopation with the "1-2-3, 1-2-3" lyric really gets me; it shows the concentration needed to stay accurate on pitch and rhythm but also adds an emotional weight to his experience with the song.
It's not that La'Porsha's re-do of "Diamonds" is bad -- it's vocally perfect -- it's just that it's a Rihanna song, which limits the degree of emotion by its very nature. She could/should have revisited "No More Drama" instead.
Well, That's Awkward
"If these were skiers, these are multiple black diamond runs you choose."
…Come again, Keith? Not all of us are planning to spend our retirements drinking gluten-free cocoa in chalets with Nicole Kidman.
Unanswered Mysteries Of A Shallow Kind
Are the judges contractually obligated to praise Simon Fuller? Did you too think it was mean of Ryan to hug MacKENZIE when introducing Dalton? And how diva was it of La'Porsha to toss her troublesome earring into the crowd?