Screen: Cartoon Network

This Princess Knows Drama Always Trumps Adventure

Oh, my Glob! Pay attention to Adventure Time's Lumpy Space Princess...right! Now!

Adventure Time revolves around undaunted animated heroes, Jake the Dog and Finn the Human. The duo bravely roams The Land of Ooo, thwarting evil of all shapes and sizes, from zombie cinnamon buns, to George Takei's Ricardio the Heart Guy, to the Cute King and his army of Cuties. (The show is a never-ending fountain of weird/awesome/WTF-ness.)

But the bravest of all of Ooo's regulars is Lumpy Space Princess. She's never rescued the kingdom or defeated a demon; that kind of stuff warrants a hearty "what-ever" from her. This pampered interstellar transplant from Lumpy Space does, however, have the courage to always speak her mind, embrace her, lumps, spread high-quality gossip, and werk a couture plastic bag dress like nobody's business. You know, the really important stuff.

Out of all of Ooo's many princesses -- the place is lousy with them -- LSP is the least virtuous. There's the beautiful and brainy Princess Bubblegum, sweet little Hot Dog Princess, bold and brash Flame Princess. But to hear LSP tell it, she's got 'em all beat.

Think of her as the animated, purple, alien version of Mean Girls's Gretchen Wieners. Both live to spill the tea and stoke fires, all under the pretense of "just being honest." You could easily attribute any of Gretchen's quotes to The Princess. "I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me...but I can't help it that I'm so popular!" would sound pitch-perfect uttered in LSP's gruff Valley Girl voice. In real life, you wouldn't want to spend a single minute with either of them, but watching them in action (from afar) is wickedly entertaining.


For their part, Finn and Jake tolerate, or simply ignore LSP. She seldom, if ever, contributes to any of the day-saving activities. All the same, she steals every scene she's in, point-blank commanding, "Everybody get ready to pay attention to me!" She levitates around the feat du jour, distracting the heroes with her beloved "drama bombs." Her favorite topic is the ongoing "will they/won't they" tension between her and fellow Lumpy Space Person, Brad. They once shared chili fries, but she was just not ready to kiss on the mouth. She's been through a lot you guys, obvi.

Toxic, temperamental and trivial though she may be, what won us over is LSP's seriously infectious one-liners. Voiced by Adventure Time creator Pendleton Ward, she has given us such gems as "Oh my glob, you guys!" and "What the junk?!?" Go ahead and pepper your next gossip session with "I was all, 'What the lump?!?" I guarantee the conversation will be all the more awesome for it. LSP's appeal cannot be denied. As she so rightly puts it, "At the end of the day, it's all about the lumps."


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